i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize
