hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
