Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
