Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
