So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
