woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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