How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
