How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
