U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
