Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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