New low: just hacked my moms facebook
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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