It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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