i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
