Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
