apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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