Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
