if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
My apartment stinks of burning failure
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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