i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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