I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Is it because I queefed?
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
