Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
