Don't you send me to vm
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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