Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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