She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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