You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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