I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
whose ass print is on the piano?
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
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