you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
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