We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
