so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
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