what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize