is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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