I look better un-naked...
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize