ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
