come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
