is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
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