She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize