You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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