Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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