he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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