This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
