dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
