i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
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he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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