A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
