I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
The uberlube is also flammable
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
