dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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