I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
My feet surprised me
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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