OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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