Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
