i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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