maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
