Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
