Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
