I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize