i permit you to call me
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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