You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
