is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
My vagina is officially offended.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Randomize
