If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
