Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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