Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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