Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Randomize
