oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
