Already got asked if we're dating
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
