part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
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