Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
