Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
