I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Randomize
