Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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