Your tits are I can't wait for
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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