don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
